Well woke up this morning at 4:30 am after falling asleep at around midnight. Insomnia being one of the side effects seems to have started already. At least it is better than feeling nauseous, which with all the medication, that seems to be holding at bay.
Chemo was again pretty straight forward with no ill feelings as of yet. It went by faster than yesterday and I was out within a couple of hours. Just experiencing a lot of fatigue right now which I expect to worsen as the week progresses.
No, the bad news that I received today was that I am sterile. My deposit at the bank was indeed worthless. As if going through this was not enough but to be emasculated at 41, well its quite the bitter pill.
Don't get me wrong I wasn't planning on having more kids. I have three lovely boys that I call my own and love with all of my heart; Ryan, Aidan and Marcus. However I always wanted a child from birth which sadly is not to be. The chances that I will be able to reproduce in the future are "unlikely."
I say this not to generate empathy or compassion for myself but to stress the importance of regular checkups and examinations. In a man's lifetime the risk of Testicular Cancer is approx. 1 in 250 (0.4%) and is one of the most curable at over 90%, but what is the cost of infertility?
Two down, 19 more to go.
Livestrong!
Glad to hear your not nauseous thats definitely a good thing and Im sure the drugs will keep that at bay.
ReplyDeleteIm sorry to here about the sterility part. Nothing I can say I'm sure that will make you feel better about this, your right a tough pill to swallow. But remember your alive and thats what is so important. You have brought so much joy to so many people and will continue to do so. This blog is an amazing step you are taking, and we are all glad to have a place to come and visit and feel like in some way we can help. You have been a good friend for so many years now and I just wish I could do more. If you want to talk, please let me know I will call you anytime. Good luck with the next 19 days hey and don't get close to any sick people, don't want to catch a cold now.
Take care will write again soon,
Melanie on the coast.
Tom.
ReplyDeleteFantastic spirit.
Sounds like you are in good hands at PMH.
Sally
I definitely understand that it may not have been in the plans but you at least want to have the option available. Keep strong my friend. I leave for Florida later tonight but will keep an eye on the blog and touch base over the next couple of weeks. Humour is always the best medicine so I will do my best to provide a smile through my own, unique ways. :)
ReplyDeleteTom
ReplyDeleteI could tell immediately when we met at the Murray's over the years you weren't a typical Scot. I can certainly identify with the notation you mentioned of the "Big C" and the way my family in Canada and Scotland would talk around and avoid "The Name That Shall Not be Spoken".
So to read your blog and see you are so strong and generous a soul that you can share your journey with the rest of us, speaks volumes of the man that is writing to us and the person we have joy of being in the presence of. None of us can just be innocent bystanders to your journey because we all share walk along the road whether we realize it or not. So we can all try to talk, laugh and cry together with our life challenges and successes , or we can choose to be silent. If we are silent, then we're walking in the dark alone with our fears. So I'm very glad and honoured to know such a man and that he is open to sharing , so Tom, be sure to know I'm right there with you in thought and prayer as you get yourself mended. Just a thought, I can't help thinking there should be more research funds directed to the right tincture of blow, nicotine, whisky, beer oxycontin and fried food that counters the chemo and make that 20 day trip....a Trip.
Lorne