A Problem Shared is a Problem Halved

Every now and again, through out our lives, people cross our paths and for whatever the reason it just feels good. This happened to me out of the blue last week when a fellow blogger by the name of David Haas wrote me asking if he could guest post on my blog. At first I was midly suspicious. I mean I've never heard of such a request before. However after I checked out his blog I realised he was someone like minded who has the best of intentions.

Here is his post.

Support is Power

Cancer can be one of the most frightening and life-altering things that a person can experience. If they feel as though they are going through everything alone, the patient can feel even more miserable. Whether they are suffering from a common cancer like breast cancer, testicular cancer or even a rare type of cancer like mesothelioma, it is important for them to reach out for support.

1. They Can Vent Their Feelings

When a person is suffering from a hardship, whether said hardship is an illness or something else, they need a chance to vent their feelings. Letting out their sadness and aggression can provide help in their need to cope. The patient can write everything out on a blog or on a forum, and readers can provide feedback or simply add their own advice to handle a situation. The patient can also talk to another person offline, allowing for more personal conversations. Whatever outlet they choose to use, the benefits cannot be dismissed or ignored.

2. They Can Gain Knowledge

While visiting the American Cancer Society website can be helpful, this does not provide the whole picture when it comes to experiencing cancer. A person needs to talk to others that have actually gone through the sickness, and they can get the kind of help that only kindred humans can provide. If they are curious about various treatment options, they can ask and get answers. If they want to know how they should handle certain side problems and how to cope with changes to their body, they can also seek others for information. Friends and family members are valuable, but so are fellow patients.

3. They Will Not Feel Alone

The feeling of loneliness is one of the worst feelings that a person can come across. An already scary and stressful situation can be made worse if the patient feels that they are going through everything without support. Finding some kind of support system can make them feel stronger, even if their body does not get any better. They will know that they are not the first and will not be the last person to experience cancer or have to see an oncologist. As the title suggests, support is power.

By: David Haas

Everyone has there own way of dealing with difficult situations. I am a firm believer that a problem shared is a problem halved. You don't have to go it alone. No one has to, whatever the reason.

David's blog can be found at http://haasblaag.blogspot.com/

Thanks David.

Livestrong

Another Finish Line

Just thought I would post this for all of you to see.

 http://pmhf3.akaraisin.com/runorwalk2011/0dad4275e7484f5cb33c5f89aa51a6c8


I will be running 5K in the upcomming Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon on October 16th and collecting monies for The Princess Margaret Hospital.

The Princess Margaret is one of the top 5 comprehensive cancer research hospitals in the world. New discoveries and innovative cancer therapies that are changing cancer care for patients globally are happening right here in Canada, at The Princess Margaret.

Be a part of the journey - by giving, participating with me, or simply by sharing my story. 

Thank you so much for your support and with your help, we will CONQUER CANCER IN OUR LIFETIME!

Livestrong!

The Finish Line - Dare I say it??

Had my appointment with my doctors at Princess Margaret Hospital this morning and they gave me the all clear. Blood work is good and the lymph nodes they removed in May were not cancerous but dead tissue.
To say I am relieved is an understatement. These last 6 months have certainly tested my mettle but I am still glad for the experience. For much of my life I have been unable to see the forest for the trees and now the orchard is in full bloom and much clearer.

I am recovering very well from my surgery. The first three weeks or so were difficult, however once I managed to drop the pain killers it became a lot easier. The scar is healing and looking not too bad. They sewed me up with dissolving stitches instead of staples so it is as ecstatically pleasing as it could ever be.

So this will be it for now. I will have follow up appointments every three months for the next little while and if there is no news there will be no blog. It has been a wonderful positive experience that I will not soon forget.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank my family and all my friends for their ongoing and continued support. Your Facebook messages and emails were a constant source of inspiration during those dark days when putting on a brave face was not quite possible. Its hard to be positive all the time and there were a few periods when it was just what I needed to motivate me to get out of bed and start again.

Take care and get tested.

Livestrong!!

Tom x!



 

Kicking Cancer in the Butt!

Kicking Cancer - My last post: Cancer kicked (& stomped on too) - citytv.com

I saw this last night and I had to share it with you. Cynthia Mulligan is a City News reporter who has, for this past year, been fighting breast cancer. Thankfully she has won her battle.

The above link is an incredible and moving story. One that explains the roller coaster of emotions that you endure as someone who is fighting cancer. Please watch and share with others as early detection of any variant of this disease is key.

Livestrong!

Happy Easter

So I had my Pre Surgery appointment on Wednesday. Phew!! What a day!! Between 6 and 7 hours at the hospital I spent answering a plethora of questions and undergoing a barrage of tests including blood work, bacterial swabs and a Pulmonary Fitness Test.

While it was all pretty much straight forward, it was a long day that gave me far too much time alone with my thoughts. Too much time to consider the severity of the operation and possible complications either during or after surgery. I have managed to be stalwart throughout this journey so far as it hasn't really been all that difficult. The next step is and I don't think I have been so scared in my life to be honest with you. But I don a brave face and shrug off concerns so as to be strong for others who are anxious about my situation.

As I sat in the waiting room for the Pulmonary Fitness Test I saw a few others who had obvious breathing difficulties. That's when I realized my mortality. We are here for a good time not a long time and as I mentioned previously, we need to take the time to stop and smell the roses.

This next week will be a difficult one for me but one that will be made easier knowing that my parents arrive on Thursday to help with my recovery after surgery. I will be sure to let them know how much they are appreciated.

Have a Happy Easter everybody.

Livestrong!

Life's a Journey Not a Destination

So I've had a week to digest the fact that I have to go undergo invasive lymph node surgery. I am obviously concerned, who wouldn't be? But I refuse to allow this setback to weaken my resolve.

I plan to volunteer with the Canadian Cancer Society when all this is behind me and this will only serve to help me assist others going through a similar situation. Whats the saying, "...don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes."

The continued support from my family and friends has been absolutely outstanding. It may be difficult news for others, especially those far away, to deal with but I am living it. Its nothing to be scared of and if I can maintain a positive attitude then so can you!

Its not going to be easy. Its going to take a lot of hard work and determination to get back to some semblance of normalcy. But I will not give up. The learning of my cancer, the orchiectomy, the 21 chemo treatments over 9 weeks, the 8 weeks of recovery from chemo treatment and now the subsequent upcoming surgery have pushed me further than I ever though possible, mentally and physically.

I hope this experience does change me. I want it to determine who I am and reshape who I will become. It may sound like a cliché but you don't realise what you have until you lose it, or at least the possibility of losing it. Family and friends is where its at. We tend to go through life a lot of the time with blinkers on and don't stop often enough along to way to smell the roses.
I not only want to smell them now but perhaps plant some.

Livestrong!

RPLND Is On

So I got the results of my CT Scan on Friday and I have to undergo the Retroperitoneal Lymph Node Dissection. Not the result I was hoping for but one that is necessary.

By all accounts I am in extremely good hands with the operation being performed on May 2 2011 at Toronto General Hospital. The procedure, which is approximately 4 hours in length, was pioneered in Toronto 30 or 40 or so years ago and is now the world standard. My surgeon is apparently among the finest in the world, which takes some of the sting away from such an invasive operation.

There are a plethora of side effects all of which should be manageable. My hospital stay should be between 5 and 7 days with a further six weeks of recuperation.

I am obviously not entirely please with outcome but this will finally put an end to my journey with testicular cancer and I look forward to living the rest of my life to the fullest. A positive attitude has been key in my fight and I will continue to harness that as much as I can.

Livestrong!!

CT Scan Update

It has been 38 days since my last post. I have mostly been recovering from chemo and trying to regain my energy. Nothing exciting happening, been walking quite a bit and starting to feel almost normal. Still have some numbness in my fingertips, discolouration and brittleness of my finger nails.

Received a letter from Toronto Public Health the other week revealing the reason I was sick back in January. Amebiasis. A parasite commonly found in developing countries or in my case, I think it was the Pho Ga from a Vietnamese restaurant a week earlier.

So in case you haven't heard I had my CT Scan on Thursday March 3rd and the subsequent consult on the Friday. The lymph node that has been my bone of contention it still enlarged. 1.3cm to be exact. Down from 1.6cm on the previous scan. Ideally they want it under a cm so they have scheduled another CT Scan for tomorrow, March 23rd in the hopes that it will have reduced further.

I am not entirely convinced that it has and am preparing myself for the inevitable surgery. As I have mentioned before, it is an extremely invasive procedure involving the opening up of my body from pelvis to breast bone! It all seems a tad harsh for one lymph node 3mm to big considering everything else seems to be doing much better.

Unfortunately I wont find out the results until April 8th, so the next 2 weeks I will have my fingers crossed.

Livestrong!

Beta Be Gone

I had my appointment with my oncologist yesterday and the Beta HCG markers are still undetectable. It would appear that the chemo was successful. Woohoo!!

I will not have any further information on my lymph node situation until March 4th. Will let you know how that goes.

Livestrong!

Bell Ringing and Health Healing

So yesterday was my last chemo treatment. I have an oncology appointment on Friday to find out the status of my Beta HCG markers. Lets hope they are still undetectable!! CT Scan on March 3rd and an appointment to explain the details of the scan on March 11th. I need two lymph nodes to have reduced in size in order to avoid a lymph node dissection. This is a very invasive operation that would literally take months to recover from. Google it if you want. It ain't pretty!!

Side effects are thankfully beginning to subside. Stomach issues have abated. Other than that I shall spend the next few weeks trying to get my health back to pre-chemo levels. I had just got back into running and some squash so I look forward to having the energy to resume those activities.

As I rang the bell yesterday afternoon to signify the end of 21 chemotherapy treatments I could feel the tears well up in my eyes.

Tears for the wonderful caring staff at the Princess Margaret Hospital who i will miss. They undoubtedly make a world of difference to the patients they look after on a daily basis and without whom a positive attitude and outlook would be tiring to maintain.

Tears for I am humbled to have met so many others in a similar situation, a lot of whom are far braver than I.

Tears for this has been the single most traumatic experience of my life so far. The fear of cancer notwithstanding but having to endure the side effects of the chemo for nine weeks coupled with a nine day stay in hospital with an infection and fever.

And finally tears for the support from my family, friends and colleagues without whom my journey would have been arduous at best.

This has been a life changing experience and while I would not wish it on my worst enemy I am glad it has happened to me. It has changed my perspective and allowed me to realise what is of value in my life.

Livestrong!!

And Then There Were Two....

Well finished the last full week of my third cycle on Friday.

Acid reflux and fatigue seem to be the main side effects I am wrestling with right now. Acid reflux apparently is brought on by the chemo. Hopefully it will not last as the chemo is nearly complete. They have prescribed proton pump inhibitors which is working but not as good as I would have hoped. It makes eating somewhat uncomfortable.

The fatigue is keeping me close to home as I cannot go very far without napping every couple of hours.

Learned to inject myself with Neupogen on the weekend. This will increase my white blood cell count and help ward off infection for the next week, which is when my blood cell count may be lower.

Not much left to say, nearing the end of this journey.

19 down 2 to go.

Livestrong!

Third and Final Round....

Began the third and final round of chemo this morning. All went well despite the frigid temperatures outside. I will definitely be keeping a low profile for this last three weeks as I would rather not have another stay at the hospitality of PMH. Great care just not interested in feeling awful to get there.

So with the Beta HCG markers undetectable and another 8 treatments on top of that lets hope we have this under control. Just need the lymph nodes to reduce in size and all will be well with the world.

Thanks again to everyone for their support and well wishes.

15 down 6 more to go.

Livestrong!

Back At Home With Some Good News

So arrived home yesterday afternoon at around 5p.m. after just short of a 9 day stay at PMH. Due to the fever, the first 3 days or so is pretty much of a blur and I just remember sleeping most of the day. By the time Thursday rolled around I was beginning to get back on my feet. Over the weekend I did begin to get my strength back somewhat and as of Monday I was ready to go home. My white blood cell count is up, infection has been taken care of as has the flux.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of the staff of the 17th Floor at PMH. Whether support, volunteer or a health care professional the level of care was outstanding. After speaking with a few of the nurses and enquiring as to why they chose oncology as their field to specialize in, they all said the same thing; fulfillment. They work they do fills them with a sense of achievement and accomplishment they never felt in any other area. This speaks volumes to the level of care that is available at this facility.

Oh, and the good news? Received blood work results regarding my Beta HCG markers. Now if you remember before chemo the markers were at 293 and after 6 treatments they had been reduced to 45. Well as of yesterday and only 13 treatments the Beta HCG markers were undetectable!! Not out of the woods but we can see the clearing.

14 down 7 more to go.

Livestrong!

Hospitalization

In case you did not get the Facebook status that I sent out on Thursday, I have been hospitalized since late Sunday night suffering since the previous week with severe diarrhea. On that night the fever hit 39.5C and I have been here ever since.

The fever caused by an infection, the infection caused by any number of things not the least of which being my extremely low white blood cell count, which, if I were healthy would be ideal. However, in someone fighting the debilitating effects of chemo, I need them high to begin with in order to counteract as quickly as possible any virus that comes into play.

When I was first diagnosed with cancer and subsequently chemo as the treatment option, I dont think I really took it seriously. Okay yes I believed my healthcare professional but what did "it" mean? It was like having my lunch ordered for me at restaurant that I would never have visited in the first place;

"Welcome to Maison Cancer Monsieur, I take it you will be aving the chemo today non?"

Of course I was given more than enough information to digest prior to the meal being delivered but no one knows how it will affect the other.
As our DNA is unique so is every single persons body. They will all fight infection, that's their job but they will all do it in a different way. No two people undergoing chemo will experience the exact same side effects. If their immune systems are compromised they will defend them in the best way for their makeup.

Well I guess now I know what it means. I understand more than ever the fragility of my body and what I am going to have to do to get through these next 4 weeks.

Thank you to my colleagues who took time out of their busy schedule to come visit me two weeks ago while I was undergoing treatment and a special thank you to Deborah for knitting me not one but three woolly hats to keep my bald head toasty warm.

I would also like to thank my loving wife Janice who has helped me immensely through this last couple of weeks and without whom I couldn't imagine the road ahead.

13 Down 8 to go

Livestrong!

Happy New Year - Welcome 2011

Well Happy New Year and heres to my first blog of 2011.

Hope you all had a safe and happy holiday season. Mine was very quiet. Did a lot of running around on Thursday which completely done me in for Hogmanay and the rest of the weekend. Must have caught a bit of a bug. Just felt aches and pains as you generally do with a flu, nevertheless I have to be careful as my immune system is already compromised with the chemo. Spent the majority of it in bed except for the 4 hours I spent at Toronto General on Saturday evening as my temperature broke 38 degrees Celsius. All was well though, my white blood cell count (also known as Neutrophils) was good. I was sent home with a script for antibiotics.
Woke up feeling much better yesterday and ready to start my second cycle of chemo. One third down!! Met with my oncologist who advised to push forward with the chemo despite the weekends setback as sticking to the schedule is key. I certainly don't want to lose any ground gained in my fight over a 3 day flu. He did however write another script for Neupogen which is a white cell booster shot to be taken every two days after my 5 day week. This will stimulate the growth of new white blood cells after my chemo which should help to ward off infections. It does not come cheap though and I am very grateful of my drug plan provided by my employer. If I was self employed or my employer had no drug benefits and I had to pay the full cost of the medications, I would be out close to $1800 and thats with 6 six weeks left to go!

So daily chemo has started again. I realise this because I went to bed last night at 11p.m. and have been wide awake since 3:30a.m. T.V. programming is pretty bad at the best of times but its really awful in the middle of the night. As I scroll through the channels I am hypnotized by The Shopping Network and wonder how on earth I have managed to survive all this time without a Magic Bullet Blender.

9 down 12 to go.

Livestrong!

Good News

I had my appointment with my oncologist yesterday to go over my blood work ahead of beginning the second cycle on Monday. Now before I began chemotherapy my Beta Protein Marker was at 293. After 6 treatments is has been reduced to 45. Closer to the target of 0. 

New Year is looking good.

Livestrong!

Chemo - Day 7 and What I really got for Christmas

When Santa Clause visited our place on Saturday  morning I wasn't quite sure what he had left for me. Now throughout the duration of the year I have been good, relatively speaking of course, so I was hoping that he would surprise me with some gadget or another. After undergoing surgery to have my testicle removed, learning that I have cancer, becoming sterile and enduring chemo and the side effects; weight gain, insomnia and lethargy notwithstanding, an electronic tech toy would surely cheer me up. An iPad, MacBook or come to think of it anything Apple would suffice. So you can imagine my impatience when i awoke on Christmas morning and furiously ran down the stairs to see what the big man had left under the tree for me. Well I looked under that tree and I couldn't find anything with my name on it. There were gifts for Marcus, Aidan, Janice, Grandma and Grandpa, Aunts and Uncles. But absolutely nothing for Tom. I was confused, perplexed even. Surely there must have been a mistake. A mix up at the sorting office. May be it fell off the sleigh. What to do?

I continued on with the morning, making a huge fried breakfast and large pot of coffee. Not necessarily good for the cancer but great for the Scottish soul. It is hard to be sad when there is square sausage on the go. I watched everyone else open their presents and lived vicariously through them for a while, breathing in their excitement and enthusiasm for Christmas morning. After a while nature was calling so I made the move upstairs. Once in the washroom I looked into the mirror. There it was. There was my Christmas present. Everyone else had seen it and now I was the last. Hair loss. The fat bastard brought hair loss to my Christmas party.

I have had a sort of Samson-esque relationship with my hair throughout my life and has been around shoulder length for the better part of the last 20 years although it has been diminishing in thickness and volume for the last couple of years. Now as you can see I am not exactly bald but it was coming out in clumps and has been thinning increasingly for the last few days but I fear the time has come to take control of the situation. I am going to shave my head. Never done it before and quite frankly I am a bit scared. Scared of the unknown. Scared of change. Scared of my head resembling my ass and people not being able to tell the difference. However it has to be done.

Well here it is. Here is my bald head and you know what, it's not so bad.

While looking into the mirror tonight I discovered a present that Father Christmas left that I hadn't seen on Saturday. Courage. He left me the courage to face my fears head on and deal with them. Strength and courage are the two ever present qualities that I have had to depend upon to deal with my illness. I never knew I had either in such quantities. Strength, unlike Samson, I can draw from others. From the support and well wishes from my family, friends and colleagues. Courage actually requires me to execute an act that ultimately if it were not for the former I'd be unable to pull off.

That is probably the best present I have ever received.

For the record though, next year instead of milk and cookies I think I'll leave out some single malt. St Nick has a twisted sense of humor and can be a total prick.

7 down 14 to go

Livestrong!

Merry Christmas

Its been about 2 months since I was diagnosed with cancer. It has been the best and the worst 2 months of my life. I have mentioned it before that although this was not in my plan I am grateful for this experience. My cancer and chemo treatments are a reminder that I am very much alive. So on this very special day I would like to thank my family and friends for their continued love and support as I continue on my journey to wellness.

A Very Merry Christmas to you all.

Livestrong!

Chemo - Day 5 ,6 and the End of The First Week

Wow!! What a week.

Friday's treatment went well and got home early in the afternoon to relax a bit before my next door neighbours Christmas party. Managed 2 glasses of wine with copious amounts of water in between before deciding it was time to crash at 10:30p.m. Slept really well for the first time in 5 days. Energy levels picked up over the weekend and by the time Sunday rolled around I felt fit enough to go for brunch.

So my only treatment this week is this afternoon and that will be me off the steroids till my treatment next week. I have a feeling my immune system may take a bit of a dive over the next couple of days so I should stay safe and close to home.

At the party the were only may be a dozen of us or so and my neighbours had already filled the other guests in with my particular issue. So the questions began and I answered them as best I could, never remembering a time, place or situation where cancer was spoken about so openly. So candidly. After a little while Joanne (my apologies if the spelling is wrong) came up and wrapped her arms around me and explained how she is a Breast cancer survivor for over 10 years and wished me well. Its hard to describe the emotion. I'm in a club that I never requested membership yet honored and humbled to be a part of. In a way I am glad of this experience. Of all life lessons taught to me this one is probably the most important one of all.

Thanks to everyone for their well wishes and support. It truly means a lot.

6 down 15 to go.

Livestrong!

Chemo - Day 3, 4 and the 911 Call!

Well day three started off much the same as the last two days. Woke up incredibly tired but not nauseas. I had the 10:30am appointment so starting off a little bit later but time goes by fairly quickly. As long as the nurses can get the prescription from the pharmacy in a timely manner the actual IV only takes about an hour and a half.
Received a pleasant surprise when a good friend and collegue, Chris K, showed up to visit for a while. It had been about a year since we met so it was really good to catch up.

They seem to be concerned with my blood pressure. So far this week I have been in the 150/110 neighborhood which puts my in the hypertension catagory. However this can be one of the side effects of the drugs I am on. They suggested I go to my GP to have it checked out.
My GP said it has been normal for the last few years but loaned me a blood pressure monitor to check it at home and to call him Monday with the results. I may need blood pressure meds on top of everything else. Oh well just need to do what needs to be done.

I did go for a few pints last night though. Well an extral large tea which was the size of a pint and about 4 pints of water. It was good to get out but I did feel very lethargic afterwards.

Day 4 ended up a bit more of an interesting day. Woke up again feeling like shit due to an incredible lack of sleep. Checked my blood pressure in the morning and it was still high. Chemo went without a hitch as has been the case thankfully all week. Afterward I ended up having to take the street car home which wasn't an inconvenience at all, however, I began to feel a tightness in my chest. No pain just a shortness of breath. Now I wasn't particularly concerned. However, due to the amount of literature given to me by the hospital I did remember seeing this symptom listed as a side effect pertaining to one of the medications. Once home I dug out the information sheet and perused. Under the "What you should do?" section it said to "Call your doctor", and so I did.
Marsha, my nurse, returned my call a few minutes later and asked a few questions relating to the discomfort and suggested that to be on the safe side I should call 911 and get checked out at the hospital. Within minutes a Fire Truck arrives at my door and sits me down, applies the oxygen mask and repeats to ask the questions I have already answered twice before. Moments later the Ambulance arrives and I am whisked off to Toronto General.

Long story short, 6 hours later I am released with a clean bill of health. After a couple of ECG's and blood work they determined that my heart was just fine and determined that the situation was caused by the medication.

Back in the hospital in 10 hours for my final treatment of the week.

This is more of an expedition that a freaking journey!

4 down 17 to go.

Livestrong!